Thought Bouquet

"Arey uncle kya kar rahe ho!" "Dekho woh ladka pagal hai kya" Feeling out of touch from reality, never really connecting with my peers, nor connecting with the "adults", I've felt out of place on every occasion. Problems bonding with anyone, created a host of other problems, such as loneliness and self-esteem issues, leading to depression and loss of the desire to do anything, really.  "If money, responsibilities, or time weren't a boundary, What would you really like to do ?" My councillor asked.  "I... Dont know".  A simple question such as this, stumbled me.  I dont know what i like to do, ive never explored myself, what i like, WHO I AM.  Look, the the people who really know me, know that I would never want anyone to have the childhood i have had. Deaths and constant strife among members which made 2 loved ones attempt suicide, my childhood has never been something to cherish. Only 'chemistry'...

Now by no means am I a blogger, however I thought writing this down would give these thoughts a sense of permanency. Something i could always come back to reflect upon, when I need to.  While  I was jotting down my thoughts, i reflected upon all the time that has passed. My normal one page of journalling, turned into five pages. Despite the messiness of my writing, it did bring me a lot of clarity. So, in short, I realized the important role that day has played in my life, so much that I don't even know who I would be had I not have had those experiences. Its taught me about understanding , and acceptance , and listening , and change , and vulnerability , in honesty , in communication , in commitment , in trust , in intuition , in priorities and, letting go . And that's a pretty long list of some pretty important things. Now I am not saying young love is not real, you know it might as well be, but its most of a wildfire than a slow burn, which when you grow older you ...