Thought Bouquet

"Arey uncle kya kar rahe ho!"

"Dekho woh ladka pagal hai kya"

Feeling out of touch from reality, never really connecting with my peers, nor connecting with the "adults",

I've felt out of place on every occasion. Problems bonding with anyone, created a host of other problems, such as loneliness and self-esteem issues, leading to depression and loss of the desire to do anything, really.

"If money, responsibilities, or time weren't a boundary, What would you really like to do ?" My councillor asked.

"I... Dont know".

A simple question such as this, stumbled me.

I dont know what i like to do, ive never explored myself, what i like, WHO I AM.

Look, the the people who really know me, know that I would never want anyone to have the childhood i have had. Deaths and constant strife among members which made 2 loved ones attempt suicide, my childhood has never been something to cherish. Only 'chemistry' I remember names of sedatives.

I really miss childhood, and what a good childhood feels like. So better late than never, I wish to give everything my inner child missed, I wish to experience my childhood, better late than never.

So what social media has portrayed current scenario is, that as compared to earlier -"no one really goes to gardens to play with their children anymore, and gardens are empty, everyone is on their phones all the time", BUT I ask you, to go out, and really look, thats not true. People still visit gardens, to spend time with their friends, parents playing with kids, and just an air of unconditional happiness all around. All I wish to you, dear reader is go out, and experience this yourself.

Yes i was also looked at suspiciously by parents when I talked to and played with their children, and called pagal and "arey uncle ko dekho" by kids all alike. But I also made a new friend, Hamid, who is 15, and also wanted to play on the equipments but was too shy to do so because what would other children say looking at a "big boy" play. He said that Looking at me, he came up sheepishly and started playing on what he wanted to, knowing he wasn't alone, who wished to rewind his childhood.

To you dear reader I say, Greatness is Coming . Do what you would like to do, find your passions again, find your fun in life again. Find your inner child, squeal and giggle with joy again. Today, i begin to work on myself, love myself.This is me, Unapologetically me.

Also, if you managed to read to the end, please do follow me on Instagram for more posts too! Instagram id- h.kap7